Ask Alison.

Am I too young to have sex?
I've been with this guy for 3 years and were really close and I am ready to have sex. So is he. My parents know what we are planning on doing and they don't really care. We are going to use a condom and everything, I just wanted to know if it hurts or what it feels like. Also do u think I'm too young? 13/f.

Yes, I think you are way too young. Why? The younger you have sex, the higher your chances of developing cervical cancer. You'll also have to make an appointment with a gyno and plan on having pelvic exams every year; you'll also need birth control in addition to a condom. Your age might cause problems with certain forms of birth control.

What else? The stress of wondering if you are pregnant is huge; it doesn't matter if you are the most careful person in the world, you'll still be counting the days until your period comes. And due to your age, your period might not be regular yet which will only add to the stress.

Sex also complicates relationships. Some of that is due to the stress of pregnancy worries, some due to the overwhelming bit of being so committed to someone at so young an age.

Basically, it's totally up to you. Just think realistically about all the possible complications and try to plan ahead. Sex will hurt the first few times you have sex, for example, so make sure you feel completely ready and possibly have lubrication on hand. Make sure your boyfriend has practiced and knows how to put a condom on.

Be aware that what you expect out of sex and what it will be like at first are two different things.

Finally, I can pretty much offer you an ironclad guarantee that you will not be with this boy forever. If you are someone who only wants to have sex with the person they will marry, don't do it.

Your personality isn't even fully formed until your mid-twenties, so it's impossible to know who you will end up with, let alone who you will become, at your age.

Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but you asked.:) Good luck with everything.

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Posted on 2004-10-11 at 10:55 a.m.