da last time we did it we used a condom and he wasnt gettin hard like he usually did so we had trouble puttin it in....
but when we kissed or just touched each other he got hard....
but when we tried to do it he would just get soft again....Why is that?
Well, hopefully you're using a condom every time - not just the last time.
As for why your boyfriend is having troubles getting hard, that could be for a few reasons. It could be a physical thing, or an emotional one.
Physically, if he has no trouble getting hard when you aren't about to do it, he probably doesn't have anything actually wrong with his plumbing.
Emotionally, it could be because he's not feeling 100% okay. This could be about his attitude towards sex, or simply the pressure of performing - particularly if you were a virgin and he wants you to enjoy yourself. Emotional pressures or worries can have a definite effect on erections.
Try talking with him and seeing what he thinks would help. Maybe you need to be kissing while he puts the condom on - or maybe you can put it on him while he is touching you. This might help him focus on you, rather than any worries he's having.
It's important not to give up on condoms - if a guy is genuinely excited, wearing a condom will not make him soft. Many guys complain it doesn't feel as good as 'the real thing,' but if it's a choice between no sex and sex with a condom - you can guess which they pick.
Ultimately, give it time and see what happens. If you want to talk about this with him, do it when you are not trying to have sex - doing it in the moment might make him feel like a failure. If you both care for each other and are open to communicating, things should improve.
Best of luck.